If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
