Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
