can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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