if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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