You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Shame - the story of my life.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize