I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
