You work out of a Hotel?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
