I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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