he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize