It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
