i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
