Ambien. No doubt about it.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
