I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
