Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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