Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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