you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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