how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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