you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
