We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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