He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
