I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
