To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
