I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize