Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
