I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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