The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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