I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
