Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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