apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
