my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
