And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
