I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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