Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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