Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
