Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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