his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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