Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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