ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
