I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
