Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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