And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
