I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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