You really coming over, don't trick.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
