even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
