My hair reeks of homosexuality.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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