Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
