so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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