I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
