the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
