you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
