I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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