I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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