we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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