shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
