i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
