i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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