I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
