So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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