Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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