Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
