Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
