Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
