The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
