thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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