Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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