Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
